Overconcerned & Agitated

17th December 09' (Thursday)

Take a deep breath..... (1,2,3)

This entry shall be focused on my "WORK". It's a good place for me to vent my frustations & anger. I can say whatever & anything I like, no restrictions. Damn it!!!

Has been working in the same job for 4 yrs+. There's good & bad times for sure. In this world, nothing is perfect. Sometimes what you want, doesn't mean it can be fulfilled. Sometimes what you do which you think you had did it right, but it's wrong in other people's eyes. I got to admit, this job has given me the stability & security which is the basic ingredient. I couldn't ask for more, as there are other good prospects.

As years goes by, I wanted more & more. Don't misunderstand, it's not the salary. What I wanted is a more clear transparent working style with my colleagues. I don't understand why seniors like to advise their juniors not to do a certain job but yet they did it. They can say "A" now & later suddenly become "B" Few months later, the "B" can become "A". Worst thing is, they even forgotten they are the one who changed from "A" to "B" & vice-versa. Yet they can criticise you in what you had done. Oh my God!

Seniors are always right, juniors are always wrong no matter how well we perfom in our work. Once a mistake is committed by juniors, they will bring it up & discuss. How embarrassing it will be for the person who has committed that mistake? If the seniors are the one who committ the mistakes, they help each another out, saying it's not been done purposely & will not bring up for discussion again. What the hell!

Seniors is human. Juniors not human meh? Too err is human ma. Don't they know this quote? Even if it's the slighest small things, they can react & make a big fuss. I don't even bother about that. Sometimes it's a blessing that even if you know what't going on, try not to be too clever at times & act as if you do not know. Things will probably turn out more better.

If we belongs to the same department, we should help each other out & not bothered about helping other department when you yourself even can't finish your tasks. If you wish to help, please do not complain & say they are making use of you. If you think they are using you, then you should't have ask them in the 1st palce whether do they need your help. You are finding unnecessary & extra workload. What you did is very very fake. In front, you act as helpful. At the back, you are spitting all over the place, saying this & that.

Both of you are not an item, please don't act like one. No one likes to see how the both of you feel for each other when you are together. Riding you to work is not enough, it's a need to ride you back home as well. Every single day without any fail. I am not jealous because you don't treat me as the same as you do to others. I just felt digusting about the actions both of you has done. Eeks!!!

In order for people to act accordingly to what you want, please act accordingly to what you had done. If you didn't do it correctly, how can you expect people to do it correctly? I am already enough of all this things. Now I am keeping myself from a far distance from you. It doesn't matter if you all laughed & chit chat without getting me involved. I can be alone. I should say I rather be alone then mixing with you all.

The patience that has built up in me since young, has been destroyed. I am far too concerned & getting agitated easily when I mentioned this. Because of this, I threw my temper unnecessary & I felt so ashamed & guilty. I can't control it from happening. I am suffering from "WORK STRESS"?

Take a deep breathe..... (1,2,3)

I am in a normal mood now. I just let it out whatever I wish to say. Can this be stopped? If this goes on, it will affect my personal life. Sianz... I want to be the same old me =)