My Mobile Phone, My Paper & Traffic Police

30th December 09 (Wednesday)

My Mobile Phone

I was about to reach my Buona Vista Mrt Station in 5 mins time, I suddenly realise I forget to bring my mobile phone out =x

I didn't know it, if I didnt search for my phone in the bag haha... I wanted to go online in my phone to update my Facebook shoutout, now I cannot do anything liao. If I go back home & take, I will be late for sure. So I drop off the idea.

When I & him are still together, handphone seems like an important item as every single morning, we would exchange our morning sms. I am always looking forward to receive his sms though it's almost the same everyday. Since the day he left me, he will not bother to drop me an sms unless its really really necessarily. Now I don't feel awkard without a phone in my hands, it's just that those who wanted to find me, will be having little difficulties for today haha... =p

My Paper

Yesterday I read "My Paper" online & there was this article titled "分手也要懂得放手". Let me briefly translate it into English : -

** There's a traditional saying - If you love him, you should let him go. Why does you still insist having hopes in this relationship when the both of you are no longer together? How you manage your emotional behaviour is very important during the breakup time.

He/She is no longer your other half, the most is as a friends position. What friends should do or should not do, must be seperate it into a line. From love degraded to friendship, the cruel love that has left you, had become a burden following wherever you go.

This is not healthy & it will even bring you hopes in getting back together again, which will lead to a breakdown of your mind. This breakdown will eventually bring you pain & suffering. It not only affects your loss of confidence but will also affect the relationship you had with him. Words are easy to say, actions are hard to fulfill.

No one can take a breakup lightly. I wish for those who has lost in love will not lose your own identity, let things take its nature, so the both of you will find the peace in our hearts in order to fully recover **

Meaningful right? I know its hard to accept the truth at one time. No one likes to be hurt by someone whom you love deeply. If it has ended up in this way, all you can do is to pick up yourself again. Learn from your mistakes & try not to committ the same thing again. There is no turning back. Now my thoughts are a bit dispersed. All I want to do is be thankful & grateful. I will not vent any of my frustations & be angry with you. Take Care!

Traffic Police

The traffic police has been hardworking these days, in the area of Jurong Point whereby he will stop at those vehicles who stop at the side of the road. He might give warnings to ask you to drive away, otherwise your vehicle number will be written on a piece of paper. I wonder is it the same or different person. They has the same white helmet & uniform with a cool bike haha...

Maybe Sp*** is in need of $, so they can only use this ways to earn more. Hm... Don't know what to say =x

Busy Busy Weekdays/Weekends

Whoa! This weekdays/weekends of mine is totally occupied with activities. Busy Busy Busy & Tired Tired Tired. But I do enjoy myself hehe... Let me make a brief update on what's happening during these days : -

24th November (Thursday)

There's a Xmas gift exchange in the office. Each one of us need to purchase a $5-$10 gift, while Boss need to purchase a $20-$30 gift. So coincidence that I selected my storeman gift (Dove Chocolate) while the storeman selected my gift (Skinfood Mask) haha...

Needless to say, Boss gift is the most expensive one. It's a toaster that can make the food hot. The logistics manager won it, but he didn't bring back. Other then that, my supervisor selected the logistics manager gift. Hm... Quite fated. Nothing to say =x

My supervisor bought me a box of Ferrero Rochor chocolates. Now I got 2 box of it, I wonder how to finish as I am also not really a chocolate lover. Eat too much, will have pimples leh =p

Didn't went any place for countdown, cuz its very squeezy here & there. I rather sleep at home though there's nothing fun.

25th November (Friday)

Jessie & I went to the Spore Expo to attend a drama show. It's from City Harvest & Jessie is one of the member. She is the one who bought me there =) I am glad I went there to feel the atsmosphere of Xmas mood, as there are Xmas songs to sang along with everyone of them. I can say everyone is very friendly & overrall I enjoy myself. Thanks for the Xmas gift, Sister!

It ends around 2pm+ & I make my way down to Orchard. I met up with Elaine at 313 Somerset as she was there with her girl friend shopping & I went there to say 'Hi" to them 1st before meeting  up with Serene, Susan & Elizabeth at another Orchard area.

 It's been years that I had not met up with Elizabeth. She didn't changed much, still the same. We walked until our legs are tired & sat down in the Haagen Daz cafe to have a 3 scoops ice-cream. Serene & I bought the same clothing, except different color. It was very worth it as the usual price is $56.90 & now its $19.90! Nice right? The material is soft soft de. (See the pic with a hanger) =p





26th December (Saturday)

My mum & I went to Tiong Bahru to watch the movie "Alvin & The Chipmunks 2". It was cute & hilarious. Thumbs up for this movie!

About 5pm+, reached Wisma Atria as meeting up with Elaine & Claudia for steamboat dinner (Chongqing Hotpot) at Suntec City. It was an expensive meal but ok lar, at least it's nice to eat. After this, we have our Xmas gift exchange. Claudia bought me a Hush Puppies boxer shorts while Elaine bought me a small notebook & a mini disco apple speaker. I love the gifts. Thanks Girls!

Of cuz I bought something nice for them also, except not much wrapped up haha... I bought "Skinfood Lotion" for Claudia & "Charles & Keith Wallet" for Elaine.

Went home around 12am+ after all the surfing internet of 1 webpage, chit chatting here & there haha...

27th December (Sunday)

It's the big day of Siti Mardiana & her hubby Zairul. They have been dating for 10 years already & now it's time for them to settle down hehe... Congratulations! I wish the both you happiness, eterntiy & love always. Muacks!

Met up wtih Carinn, Kamalia, Sarina, Layling & Sufen at Yew Tee Mrt Control Station as the venue is at Yew Tee CC. The buffet food is nice! I ate at least 4 rounds =p Nowdays I keep on eating with no restrictions, scare I gain weight again on the butt. So I stop myself after the 4 rounds. Don't worry, I am also feeling full already, can't eat again =x

Reached home around 4pm+. I drop my tears for 5 mins when I suddenly think of him. I was thinking why is he so heartless to leave me all alone, didn't he promise we will be together always? Anyway the 5 mins is up & I had stopped my tears.

I was so so so  tired that I drop to sleep until 6pm. Didn't know I got so so many missed calls from Elaine. What happened huh?

Lonely Xmas

24th December 09' (Thursday)

It's raining heavily & turn to drizzling in the morning. The road path that I took on my way to mrt, was a quiet & lonely one. There's not even a single soul & cats. Sky is black black de.
I didn't take out my brolly & let the raindrops beat on to my skin.

It's hard that I can't bring myself not to think of you. But 1 thing that I want to promise myself is - Even if I think of you, smile will emerge from my lips, instead of tears from my eyes. I won't blame you. I really really won't blame you. There's nothing I can do except letting you go from my heart. I am grateful for the love you had given me this 1 yr +. I wish you are leading your life happily.

Why Why Why

Why did you delete me from your facebook list? Why did you delete the photos of us? Why can't we just be friends? Why did you have to do that? Why Why Why???

I didn't expect you would do that to me. Did I done anything wrong or offended you in some way which I don't know? Maybe you know that I have been viewing your profile & heard from your friends that I am asking how have you been or something, so you decided to remove me from your list as I am intruding your privacy.

I do not have any intentions. I just want to know how have you been doing, that's all... This is the only way that we can get connected & you even break this connection. Why do you have to do that, I mean its not necessarily. Ok, I know I don't have the right to ask why you do this & that. I do not need to concern about you & you do not need to concern me also. We are just strangers, not even friends now.

All this while, I have been a very very stubborn person. The more you want me to retreat, the more I bounce back. I don't listen to any of my friends advice, I insist on doing it my way. I let myself sunk deep down into the sea. There's a float for me to catch, but I don't want. I want to swim & swim & swim with all my might. I know I can still reached the shore in time (Knowing you will turn back 1 day, no matter how long it takes) But I am wrong. Before I reached, I am already breathless. I am almost dead. Why do I make myself look so ugly in front of you & others? I am degrading myself sigh...

What I can say now, is to take one step at a time. I hate thinking of you now. Don't worry, I am not like you who has a small & petty heart. I am always very forgving de. I will not do something that makes you embarrassed or something. If you do this to me, I will not imagine will I do that to you also. Argh... Anyway I am not this kind of person. I am not a bad girl. You can do whatever you like if it makes you happy. As long you don't get me involved, that's ok liao.

An Entry For Him

22nd December 09' (Tuesday)

This blog of mine will not exist, if we are still together now.

Since the 1st day that we had broke off, I started to post an entry everyday. There's so much things that I want to say to you in person, but I know you will not want to speak to me at that moment. I felt so lost, heart so pain... It's like a doomsday for me. Everything looks so fine & I didnt expect it will happen so dramatically. Yup, it's my fault. I am the one who created this, so I shall be the one who clear up this mess. Time & Time, you given me a lot of chances. I don't know how to treasure it. Maybe I am too sensitive in some aspects.

I had lost concentration in work. I key in the wrong price, wrong customer code, wrong quantity during this months. I don't wish to commit the mistakes, but I can't help it. I had already double check, but it still happens. I did took some days of leaves to have a rest, but the most is only 2 days. I am tired, really tired. I know you will not read the blog I had written for you but I got a feeling you got read it, but you said the opposite of what you said. I... I really don't know. It's just a conjecture only. If feeling is so accurate, everyone goes by feeling & not actions to prove it.

I stopped writing the blog for you after a month of our breakup. But 1 week later, I wrote again. Though I didn't have the right or chance to see you, but at least I have the right to say how much I miss or love you in my own blog. I am tempted to go over to your place there when I suddenly missed you so much. I really really want to see you. Sometimes I am thinking what if I am able to see you? Will seeing you bring you back or bring us back to the past? No, it won't. In the end, I never go cuz I know you wouldn't like me to appear. Your face will turn black & I don't want to see you having an angry face bcuz of me. I want to see your smile.
After living 46 days of singlehood, how do you feel? You must be delighted enough to do the things you like, no restrictions. Your bike has taken my position to be your precious one. It's No.1 now & I am don't know what position also. Maybe no position at all.

Sleepy Day

22nd December 09' (Tuesday)

Yawn... The past few weekends, I am totally burnt out as there are so many activities on-going. This weekend is not spared also, as there's a Xmas eve which I will be celebrating a little & will be attending Mardiana wedding lunch at Yew Tee CC. Tired Tired...

On Xmas eve, my plan was to go clubbing & come back the next morning. Didn't know that the entrance fees is double ($50+ ) & I also can't imagine the scene of hailing for taxis during the next day, it must be very very crowded. Clubbing can go anytime, need not be Xmas eve. Of cuz I understand the counting down for a special occasion makes a difference & feel more high =p

Maybe I decided to do something simple. Going to a beach at night & breathe the night air. Sit down on a bench there, relax & chit chat. See see the sea waves, feel feel the calmness of the sea, play with the blowing of bubbles & those light up fire sparkles. It seems very very simple. I feel like finding back my childhood days, relaxing & nothing much to worry about. Maybe can rent a frisbee too or bowling. Whatever that can played there, just played lor. Anyone want to accompany me? Humming a song right now "Merry Merry Xmas, Lonely Lonely Xmas" - Singer: Eason Chan

There's not much joy being felt now. It's just an ordinary day, nothing special. I gues when one gets older, the things we wanted in life has changed irrevocably. What we wanted, sometimes you are not able to get it too. Sigh...

Don't know why there's something that come into my mind. I feel like taking a bike licence haha... I saw 3 female bike riders today. One of the pillion is a guy leh. I saw the girl who is driving it, has a serious look. Whoa... She looks cool to me! I can still afford a normal scooter or bike, but for car I got no $ hehe... Anyway I just say say only. I am even afriad of riding bicycles on the road, don't say bike le. I just got a phobia on the road =x

Enjoyable Malacca Trip (19 & 20 Dec 09)

21st December 09 (Monday)

Day 1 (19 Dec)

Woke up at 4am+ as need to reach Kranji Mrt Station by 6am. Feeling sleepy, but it's worth it since I am going to enjoy this weekend hehe...

It's 1 yr + that I didn't entered into M'sia through the Woodlands Checkpoint. Everything look so new & blur to me haha... But it's good that I know what bus should I take in order to go JB. Don't worry, I will not go alone. I am also scare as JB can be a complicated place =x

This is not the 1st time I went to Malacca. It's the 2nd time I guess. The only difference is the transport & the people =) I gave a call to one of my Malacca friend "Winnie". Didn't have time to visit her as I only got 1 night to spare. Reached around 12pm+ & do the registration of checking in. Thanks to "Ah ****" who gave us a ride from JB to Malacca. It must be tiring to drive for hours. Our 1st lunch was the white chicken with chicken rice. The rice is round round de, look like fishballs. But it's a bit cold. Ordered some drinks as well. All only cost RM26.60, can't remember exactly. Very very cheap right! 5 people eat leh =p

The weather is raining & sunny at times, hard to predict. Saw a few cats & I always greet them "Meow Meow" hehe... Then our next destination is "Makhota Parade". I think got 5 or 6 storeys high. We girls always like to shop in 1 shop by 1 shop, as we like to see things detaily, so it takes hours when we had finish our rounds haha... Bought a few things in here. One "Br*", 3 Masks & 1 Watch". Forget to take the "Tourist Privilege Card" as there might be a 10% discount. But never mind la, I don't think all stores has a participation in it.

There's 1 hand waxing which you can do it for free for 1st. You put in your hand in cold water & then hot water & so on, which your hand will become numb & will have a mould shape out. I decided to make 1 since its RM10 but upon knowing got soft & hard mould, each cost RM30 & RM50 respectively. I feel a bit expensive liao & never make 1 =x

Feel a bit hungry & they bought the "Baskin Robbin" waffle cup ice-cream & the Auntie Anne biscuit & drinks. It's time to sit down for a while as our legs are tired after all the walking. It's raining heavily outside & I pray the rain would stop, otherwise we aren;t able to walk in "Jonker Street" which is also a well known shopping place (Pasar Malam) where you can purchase a lot of cheap stuff.

Lucky the rain has stopped & here we are in "Jonker Street". It's only opened at night. Its fully packed with people. There's only 4 words to describe - "People Mountain People Sea" lol... Felt really hungry this time & we ordered whatever food that we can find & eat. I am not letting go of any chance to eat. I must eat until full full. Go back to Spore then say about diet ba =p Some things are quite expenisve, some are affordable, some are exactly the same as Singapore $. There's 1 thing I will not missed it. It's the "Muah Chee" My Favourite!!! When I bought it for the 1st time in here, I even licked all the left over peanut bits in the box. Compared to Spore, it's the same taste, it's just that I will not purposely buy it in Spore & eat =p

After all the walking, whatever we eat, also digest liao. So we wanna try the cockles, la-la, kangkong with cuttlefish, these kind of raw food. I only dare to eat if dipped with chilli. I only eat a few, as I scare can't get used to it & have stomachache. It's quite expensive for a few plates only & the hygiene is kind of terrible. Bought 1 big packet of "Carrot Cake" as our supper. All this food are called Street Food, that's why the hygiene is not up to standard. Hm... Bought some DVDs as well, you know lar =p

One day has passed just like that. Check in the hotel with our luggage around 9pm+, considered early liao.. Ate the "Carrot Cake" & tidbits with them & watch TV. Qucikly unpack & take a nice shower. After that it's "Mask time" hehe... It's so cooling lying on the bed relaxing. Drop to sleep about 12am+ ba.

Day 2 (20 Dec)

Yawn... Woke up at 8am+ The aircon is so cold but nice. Did woke up at a certain time in the middle of the night, but I still sleep back. I even thought it's aldready morning cuz I stretch myself up & took a peek outside the window. It's still dark leh & my stomach start to grumble. Hm... I thought I had ate supper? =x

Quickly pack all the stuff & double check 1 more time to see if I left anything. The room rates are super duper cheap! One night only RM48. You imagine 2 persons share 1 room. 1 person only $10! Thought its a very budget hotel with no card access but keys, no peek holes at the door, can't lock the door from outside (Most important can lock from inside), no cupboards, but at least the air-con,the bed, the TV & the bathroom facilities is in good condition. What can we ask for more that only cost $10? =)

Wanted to eat breakfast, but the timing is like lunch time liao haha... Took a walk in Jonker Street again. It looks very different in the morning & night. Bought 2 t-shirts with men's wording & slippers. Wanted to purchase another kind of wordings, but don't have my size =x Enter into a small cafe, selling Portuguese tarts & other cakes. I ate 1 since going to eat lunch liao. Sitting down here feels relaxing because of the oldie music they played. Good for those who wanted a quiet place to chit-chat. Finally we decided to eat our "Zi-Char" as lunch, who knows that the place is fully booked & a one of the employee sounds so fierce saying we must make a reseravation & say "You Should Let Me Know" I was thinking "If we know, we would have already let you know. Who don't know. Idiot $3%*! " Maybe they don't know we are tourists. Aiya... Just forget it lor & proceed to another place & eat.

Upon thinking, we went to the Jusco. Sorry, I forget this Jusco is located at where. Should be in Malacca, not JB ba. Me blur blur =p I am already very tired & sleep in the car towards JB. Half sleep, half wake up. Then saw 6 Harley Davidson (HD) bikers & I start to talk about the bikes & how much I love them & I am one of them before when I was still with "Him". His bike is sports bike, not HD. Anyway, I am not a fan of "HD" but just curious about their hands holding on top of the handle. Their hands not tired meh haha... Maybe used to it liao. They also don't wear full face helmet, will spoil their image. They used a handkerchief to tied & cover their mouths. The wind is very strong. If not tight enough, the handkerchief will fly off, then will become a laughing stock =p

We decided to take the M'sia taxi to Spore. Reached the JB custom around 6pm+, the inspector who check our passport looks tired & sianz... This taxi uncle of ours seems to know everyone from JB to Spore. He greeted everyone he know haha... I like the Spore inspector (Malay) cuz he seems polite & call out our name 1 by 1 in a smiley look =) If got time, maybe I can ask for his number haha... Just kidding.

The taxi seems like in an F1 race, so fast... I am kind of scare, especially if the car in front suddenly stop, then I don't think to think. Has reached home safely about 8pm+

A Short Entry For Today

18th December 09' (Friday)

It's raining heavily in the morning & I decided to take a bus to Dover Mrt Station. On the way to the bus stop, I saw 2 cats sleeping on a cement sack. They so look cutie & I snap a photo it of it hehe... Other then that, I also saw a cuite pinkie van. These are the photos as shown below : -

When I reached the bus stop, the heavy rain become small rain haha... So I never took a bus & walk to Buona Vista Mrt Station instead. At there, I saw 1 black bird biting an insect its beak. The insect flew off when the bird opened its beak. Hm... Today happened 3 little things =)

Tomorrow Elaine, I & some other people will go to Malacca! I must enjoy myself there, spend more RM. I shall not restrain on my eating. When I am back, then start to exercise lor hehe...

Overconcerned & Agitated

17th December 09' (Thursday)

Take a deep breath..... (1,2,3)

This entry shall be focused on my "WORK". It's a good place for me to vent my frustations & anger. I can say whatever & anything I like, no restrictions. Damn it!!!

Has been working in the same job for 4 yrs+. There's good & bad times for sure. In this world, nothing is perfect. Sometimes what you want, doesn't mean it can be fulfilled. Sometimes what you do which you think you had did it right, but it's wrong in other people's eyes. I got to admit, this job has given me the stability & security which is the basic ingredient. I couldn't ask for more, as there are other good prospects.

As years goes by, I wanted more & more. Don't misunderstand, it's not the salary. What I wanted is a more clear transparent working style with my colleagues. I don't understand why seniors like to advise their juniors not to do a certain job but yet they did it. They can say "A" now & later suddenly become "B" Few months later, the "B" can become "A". Worst thing is, they even forgotten they are the one who changed from "A" to "B" & vice-versa. Yet they can criticise you in what you had done. Oh my God!

Seniors are always right, juniors are always wrong no matter how well we perfom in our work. Once a mistake is committed by juniors, they will bring it up & discuss. How embarrassing it will be for the person who has committed that mistake? If the seniors are the one who committ the mistakes, they help each another out, saying it's not been done purposely & will not bring up for discussion again. What the hell!

Seniors is human. Juniors not human meh? Too err is human ma. Don't they know this quote? Even if it's the slighest small things, they can react & make a big fuss. I don't even bother about that. Sometimes it's a blessing that even if you know what't going on, try not to be too clever at times & act as if you do not know. Things will probably turn out more better.

If we belongs to the same department, we should help each other out & not bothered about helping other department when you yourself even can't finish your tasks. If you wish to help, please do not complain & say they are making use of you. If you think they are using you, then you should't have ask them in the 1st palce whether do they need your help. You are finding unnecessary & extra workload. What you did is very very fake. In front, you act as helpful. At the back, you are spitting all over the place, saying this & that.

Both of you are not an item, please don't act like one. No one likes to see how the both of you feel for each other when you are together. Riding you to work is not enough, it's a need to ride you back home as well. Every single day without any fail. I am not jealous because you don't treat me as the same as you do to others. I just felt digusting about the actions both of you has done. Eeks!!!

In order for people to act accordingly to what you want, please act accordingly to what you had done. If you didn't do it correctly, how can you expect people to do it correctly? I am already enough of all this things. Now I am keeping myself from a far distance from you. It doesn't matter if you all laughed & chit chat without getting me involved. I can be alone. I should say I rather be alone then mixing with you all.

The patience that has built up in me since young, has been destroyed. I am far too concerned & getting agitated easily when I mentioned this. Because of this, I threw my temper unnecessary & I felt so ashamed & guilty. I can't control it from happening. I am suffering from "WORK STRESS"?

Take a deep breathe..... (1,2,3)

I am in a normal mood now. I just let it out whatever I wish to say. Can this be stopped? If this goes on, it will affect my personal life. Sianz... I want to be the same old me =)

SBS Bus No.254

16th December 09' (Wednesday)

After knocking off from work, this is the bus that I will take to Boon Lay Mrt Station if my colleague doesn't drive me out.

The whole journey from my workplace till Boon Lay, it takes 45 mins exactly. If you are fetching me directly from office till home, it's even earlier then 10 minutes or something. I am not bothered about the timing that I can reach home, as I am not in a rush. It's just that the whole journey seems like a very very long & lonely one, that other then looking outside at the window, my mind is filled up by "You"... Tears will slowly rolled down from my eyes. I hate this crying scene. What's wrong with me?

I thought I had already get used to it. I mean won't shed my tears easily. Even if I think of you, smile will emerged instead of tears. Why??? I know one day, you will be meeting me up to return my stuff. Will that be the 1st & last meet up after our breakup? I wonder should I ask you this question or just keep it to myself. Nowadays the weather is quite unpredictable. It can be very humid & become a rainy day later. I was more worried for rainy day as I wonder are you on your way to work or knocking off from work? It's unsafe for riders to ride in heavy rain, roads are very slippery.

When I was in the lorry on the way to work, I saw a bike in front of me at a traffic stop. There's this couple which the girl looks more thinner then me & her boyfriend is also a thin man. I can see the girl telling her boyfriend that her thigh is having a blue black or something & its pain. Her boyfriend immediately rub for her & she push away his hand, feeling more pain or something. This scene makes me remind of you again & I had the same action as the girl too. When I had a blue black, you also rubbed for me. It will heal more faster & blood won't clot. Usually I won't do anything about it, I just let it dissapear.

Can I stop thinking of you at the time being? I think it's difficult for me to do that now. The more I don't wish to think of you, the more I think of you. Even this upcoming weekend going to Malacca, its a place where you & I went before. How to not to think? LaLaLa.... =x

Late Night Sleep

15th December 09' (Tuesday)

In the past from primary school, secondary school, ITE, a working adult (3 to 4 yrs+), I will be in bed at 10pm punctually.

I hardly experienced sleepless nights & will keep on yawning after 10pm. Lately or should I say within the past 1 yr +, I had become a changed person in my sleeping habits. I only either sleep at 11pm+ or near to 12am which is a weekday. Imagine I got to work the next day, how will I have enough sleep? It's not that I don't wish to sleep, but even if I closed my eyes, I wouldn't be in dreamland yet.

On the weekend of a Sat, there's a time I sleep at 3am. That was when me & him are in M'sia around 9pm+ & come back around this timing. It's very abnormal for me to sleep at such a late timing. Perhaps I couldn't make myself tired enough, that's why. I am not afraid of sleepless nights when he's by my side. Now the moment that I can't fall asleep, he will appear in my mind. I will think back of all the happy memories we had together. It's so hurtful to think of this, especially when I & him are no longer together now =x


I know I am at fault. I didn't realise my mistakes & even repent it until you suggest a breakoff with me. I don't believe it won't hurt you. You said you got no more feelings in me, you are tired. Yes, you are tired & the love for me you had is not as strong as before. But I don't don't don't believe you had never drop a tear when we break off. You are a stubborn man & I am a stubborn woman. Both of us are stubborn! Sigh...


Why can't things work out to be a more better one? There is ways we can solve it together. You only carry it by your ownself, where's my share? I know as a guy, your thinking is you should be the one who is carrying & bearing it, shouldn't let your girl to worry about this things. But do you know that you are not a superman? You are only a Panda. Don't worry, I am not in a foul mood or throwing my temper when I am writing this. My mood belongs to a calm one.


I had sign up for a free talk (3 Feb 2010) at the Jurong Regional Library. I know its still very far, but harmless to participate right? Maybe can get to know more people, expand my social circle. I also feel like attending "Calligraphy Classes". There's so many short talks/courses which I wish to attend. Hope the timing fits my schedule =)

Thoughts Of Him

14th December 09' (Monday)

When I wake up in the morning, the 1st thing that comes into my mind is "Him".

When I am crossing the road, I saw the SBS Bus (No.74) that goes to his place. When I was in the lorry passing by another side of the Tuas area, it's the road path we ride in to M'sia. In front there's a car which the brand is "Suzuki", it's your bike brand. My mind is consisting of "You, You, You". You are not able to escape from my mind, I am being poisoned by "You".

Is this a good sign or a bad sign? In my sense, good sign means I am not those kind of girls who can forget our love so easily & the good things you had done for me as a boyfriend. Bad sign is, you are no longer by my side & I should move on. Thinking of you doesn't help in anything, I only lose concentration on my work.


I am a well behaved girl these days. Almost all weekends are packed with programs. This is what you want me to be right? Maybe you will want me back after a year or so, after you had see how I had changed in some aspects. Will you want me back?

If it do happens 1 day, I will not be asking you this question. You will be the one who asked me this. It seems like I am knocking myself on the wall, knowing it hurts but I still knock on it. Argh... I am tired physically & emotionally. How long do I still need to take not to drop my tears for you? I don't know the answer, don't know...

Perhaps it's a Monday today, that's why I feel everything is not right. For the day, I am always thinking of you. I even shed my tears again. I shouldn't have do that. It's not I wanted but I can't control it.

A Tired Day

13th December 09' (Sunday)

Yawn... Feeling tired, but I don't wish to take an afternoon nap after I woke up from my morning sleep. If I take a nap, I will have difficulty to sleep at night. So I bear with it.

Around 4pm+, went out with Elaine to Ulu Pandan CC & find some courses & gym details. After that, we went to Claudia house & end up accompany her watch TV till 6.30pm haha... Actually wanted to go Queenstown Shopping Centre & buy the badminton racket, but since Claudia has extra, she can lend to Elaine & no need to buy liao.

During dinner time, we went to 'Essential Brew'. I am the one who suggest this place but deep down in my heart, I don't wish to step into this place again. It brings me back the memories of us. When I stepped in & sit down, I was in some thoughts. I keep on staring at the table which we sit before with our legs crossed. This is our 2nd date & we are there to talk about our personality & the past relationships we had.

I can't remember when is the time we sat at the upper floor near the window area. It's a cosy corner & I am the one who suggested it. That time, I was feeling our relationship was not perfoming well & I am worried about the both of us will have a breakup. You rest assured me that I was thinking too much & it will not happened for the time being. I promised I will be a good girlfriend of yours & we will be together to hold our hands down the road.

Sorry... While writing this entry, I dropped my tears again. It's a heavy one. My heart is feeling pain now, very pain... ='(

A Busy Day

12th December 09' (Saturday)

Meet up with Serene & Susan at Outram Park Mrt, as we are heading down to the "Buddha Tooth Relic Temple" (BTRT) to offer our prayings.

Feeling quite hungry, so we decided to eat our lunch 1st before proceeding there. I ate my favourite 'Frog Leg Congee' & 'Chicken Feet'. We had some chit chatting as well. One of the topic revolve people around our age, is either getting married soon or already married. I was thinking if "I & Him" are still together now, I might be the next one. This wish will never be fulfilled between us, never... =x

We reached the 'BTRT'. I act like a tour leader to them, as I had explore this temple before hehe... Once a month, I will visit this temple & offered my sincered prayings to the deties. I will not forget to pray for him & his family in good health & safety. I wanted to visit this temple with him 1 day & let him know this is where I bought a bookmark & hang onto a small little tree for my wish to come true. It did & that's why I found "You". Though we are no longer together now, but I am glad to know & fall in love with you. I really love you a lot, a lot...

After this, we went to Marina Square. I saw a Xmas gift for Elaine & bought it on the spot. I think she will like it, as its quite classic & elegant haha... =p  I bought myself a new watch for $13 & 3 pairs of new shoes (Buy 2 Get 1 Free) for $62. It's like a shopping spree today, keep on spending $$$! Really need to save now, cannot anyhow spend even if I had the spare cash =x

A Neutral Day

11th December 09' (Friday)

Yeah... It's a Friday! For the upcoming weekends, I will be all occupied with programs. Thanks to my friends & myself for making it happening hehe...=p

As mentioned in my previous entry, I am getting thinner. Yup, I can see it myself. It all happened because of "Him". Well, I am not those kind of girls who gorge themselves with lots of food & end up being plump. Instead I do not have the appetite to eat anything. I can still remember the last conversation we had during the next day of our break-up, he even advised me not to gorge myself with food. Silly "Him".

I promised I will exercise at least 2 to 3 times in a month. Sweating is a must! I know it's considered less, but better than nothing haha... I know I didn't do much exercise & only know how to eat when I am with you. But do you know that I feel very very happy? It's not the food we ate, but the accompaniment you had for me. You dislike me eating tidbits & instant noodles after my meal. It's unhealthy & you don't wish I will become a plump woman 1 day. It's for my own good. I choose not to listen. Anyway even if I had gain weight, I wouldn't be too plump =x

It's already pointless to mention about whether I am thin or I am plump now, cuz it doesn't matter to you. I am no longer your girlfriend & you are no longer my boyfriend. We are "Single" now. Sometimes when I saw those big bikes which their pillon rider is a female/girlfriend, my thoughts will automatically shifted to you & I instantly. I missed the riding days from you. Will I have a chance to sit on your bike again?

I had my "8 Words" calculated from a geomancer in Jurong West. Some of it are quite accurate, but I advised myself not to take it too seriously, but just treat it as a form of enlightment. What it says about me, I shall list it here :-

1) I behave like a guy attitude. I am a straight forward kind of person who say things very directly & might unintentionally hurt someone. There's some "Xiao Ren" hanging around me.

2) I got a lot of "Tao Hua" beside me. I am someone who knows how to interact with people, not those too quiet kind.

3) The love relationships I had previously is "You Yuan Wu Fen" I must not think too much about it & let everything flows as normal. I am suitable to get married after 30 yrs old, otherwise will end up in divorce if I get married before 30.

4) The career of mine now is doing good. I must not bother too much which I can't see eye to eye. If I think too much, it will affect my health like the heart.

Somehow this is what I can remember hehe... =p

An Emotional Entry

10th December 09' (Thursday)

I am back to work after 2 days leave. As usual, there's a lot of paperwork waiting for me to settle it.

Yesterday night, I got a bit of difficulty sleeping. I am tired, but just can't drop to sleep. I toss & turned... I even listen to the FM tuner of my old MP3 player, read some magazines, it still doesn't help. The worse thing is, I will think of "Him". I don't mean thinking of him is a bad thing, but I really don't wish to make myself dazed even when I want to sleep, though I do miss him.

During the early afternoon (Yesterday) I had read a book "His Needs, Her Needs" It's a book for marriage couples on how to make their relationship sizzles more. Ok, I know I am not married yet. But somehow it do explains what are the "Men's Needs & Women's Needs" Quite interesting hehe...  I read again since I am not able to sleep. Slowly I start to fall asleep at 11pm+.

Without him in my days, I am slowly getting used to it. I can't deny that some minutes of a day, I will have him in my thoughts. The memories of us are a beautiful one. What he gave to me, I have been treasuring it all this while. I wonder when I am thinking of him, did he think of me too? Maybe yes, maybe no.

The worker "Ah Ong" saw me & exclaim " Xiao Mei! Why are you getting thinner & thinner? You never eat rice is it?" I smile & said "Ya lor. Never eat rice, cuz I eat noodles ma". Both of us are conversing in Mandarin then. When I said eat noodles in Mandarin "Chi Mian", he listen until become "Shi Nian" haha... Then he mentioned "Ru Guo Shi Nian, Wo Da Ta Liang Ba". I just laughed & say to my ownself "Wo Shi Zhen De Shi Nian Le" =(

Ah Ong told me he saw "Him" in a motorbike shop at AMK few times. I pretend nothing has happened & just say "Ya lor, cuz he stay nearby there ma". Well... Now his bike is his official wife, has upgraded from a mistress status.

Just An Ordinary Day

9th December 09' (Wednesday)

I am still on leave today, so I accompanied my mum to IMM for a walk. I am curious to see, how is the crowd like for the Starhub & M1 since it's their launch of IPhone 3Gs. To my amaze, there's not much crowd in Starhub shop. I wonder why? There should be a lot of people queuing up for it.

When I passed by M1 shop, there's a crowd there! At least more then 50 people queuing up like a snake. Then I suddenly remember M1 price plans are much more cheaper then Starhub. Maybe this is the reason which M1 shop has more customers then the Starhub shop. Anyway, I am just there to see, not to queue haha...

Btw I bought myself some nice tops & took pictures of it =)

I bought this at Harbourfront few weeks ago hehe...

Hm... Grayish side, but look more mature.

This shirt got 2 colors, the front is blue & the back is black.

A Brand New Start

8th December 09' (Tuesday)


Yippie!!! This is one of another new bloggie that I had created for myself. I wanted to make this blog look more lively, but don't know why I am experiencing some problems with the other skins/templates from other website. But no worries, I will be sourcing Elaine's help later. This blog will turn into a beautiful one hehe... =p


Applied leave for today, as I accompany my mum to the "Endoscopy Centre" at NUH - Kent Ridge Wing for a OGD (Oesophagoscopy, Gastroscopy & Duodenoscopy)checkup. Sounds profound right haha... It's all mainly on the "Gut" scanning area. Took about 1 1/2 hours. Everything is fine except too much of the so called "Sour Liquid Upside Down". As usual, the doctor prescribed some tablets for her to eat. Finally, my mum has put down a big stone on her shoulders.


As seen from the 'Yahoo' webpage main section, the IPhone 3GS will be launched under M1 & Starhub tomorrow. It's happy news to those who wanted to purchase this phone under this subscribers. I know he has been waiting for this chance long ago, maybe he will subscribe to it. Will he trade in his old mobile phone?


I wanted to tell him so much, please don't trade in your old phone, as there's a lot of love smses I had sent to him when we are in love. I am willing to use a certain price & purchase your old phone & keep it by my side. I know I cannot do that now & I don't have the position to tell what you should or should not do. I am just a ordinary friend of yours...


If you had purchase the IPhone 3GS, somehow you will neglect the ITouch I bought for you. It's a unique ITouch that can be never bought outside, as there's an engraving at the back. I am still using the IPod Nano you bought for me. Even if it's no longer working, I will not throw it away & kept it for my life.