7th January 2010' (Thursday)
Why you want to get involved with this girl? How can you do that to me when our breakup time was only a month +, not a year. How can you forget me easily & have fun with this girl? Is she really really better than me? Ya, she has a good figure, knows how to dress well, but on personality wise, can she click with you? Both you & I are on par, but she's different.
From her pics, she loves to club. Maybe she smokes also, I don't know. Do you think you & her can last? You don't belong to those clubbing & drinking person. You are more conversative. I see from her face, she's not those committed type, she is just looking for fun, not serious. You sure you wanna be with her or you just wanted to have fun as well? Why can you end up with this kind of person?. This is the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with?
If you found a sweet looking girl, I admit defeat. She's not... I know by judging her looks is not good enough. I don't know her, how can I say she's a bad person? Clubbing & smoking doesn't mean she's bad. I club too but not those wild kind. I really really don't know what's the both of you up too. I know you are a guy, you won't lose anything. But you will lose your feelings. Is it worth to lose your feelings for this girl?
By right, I shouldn't care about you anymore. But I can't as I am not as cruel as you. Though we are seperated, but I can take you as a friend as we did nothing wrong. You even dump me as friend. What can I say? Even in the last minute when you want to break off with me, you have the say. Can I don't accept the way you wanted to be? No right? I don't know why I deserve this treatment from you.
I don't hate you as you have been a nice boyfriend to me in the past. You did nothing wrong. You just want to survive more better, with fresher air. Two is too much. I don't know how should I fall in love with guys again. Time to time, they dissapointed me, They gave me hopes & yet destroy it. It applies to you too. I am grateful to my friends (Especially Elaine & Claudia) who are there for me when I needed them the most. Though I had neglected them in the past, but they didn't mind & still treat me as their close friend, give me the comfort & console. Without them, I think I will do a lot of silly things. Defintely not committ suicide, I don't have the courage. Thank you girls! I love you deep from my heart. Muack!
Oh Ya... Not forgetting to thank my god sister too. Since I broke up with you, she keeps haunting me with her incoming calls. I know deep inside, she's still thinking of her ex. Sometimes she told me her problems & I told her mine. She is there to encourage me when I am down. At least I know I got another friend who is there for me. Other then that, there's Serene, Susan, Mingli, Jennie, Meileng, Grace, Jaime... Got to say "Thanks" to them too for giving advice.
Maybe I am not ready for a relationship yet. I don't want to fall in love with any guys now, probably in the further end. Hm... I don't know. Now I will focus more on my family, my career & my friends =)
